[Tuesday, January 3rd 2006 @ 10:20] NEW LJ .. it's beth_anne_x3. So add me, and I will return the favor. :) <3 COMMENT

[Saturday, December 17th 2005 @ 12:30] I am VERY happy. :) I got my love back. :) <33333 5 -COMMENT

You Get Me Seriously Out of My Mind. <\3 [Wednesday, December 14th 2005 @ 9:17] A lot of things are changing. I don't know if it is for the better or worse. I know that some of my friends from PA are starting to commuicate with me, and that is cool. But I don't think I am getting along with many people down here anymore. I don't care, really. I plan on getting the fuck out of here when I'm 18. I want to go to PSU. I just really want to get the fuck out of this town. I feel like it is making me nuts. I don't think things are going okay with him and I ... at least the way I want them to be going. I dont' want to ask him how he feels or if he thinks we will get back together or not because I don't want to be a pain in the ass or anything like that. - sighs - I just want him so bad. :'( That's really all I want. So, I'm thinking about trying to lose weight, but I don't know how to lose weight and fast. Any suggestions? Well, I think I am going to go talk to Jen. <3 3 -COMMENT

[Wednesday, December 7th 2005 @ 6:52] [ mood | frustrated ] [ music | One Wish-Ray J ] I am pissed off at the world. I am so sick and tired of everyone's bullshit. From my "best friend" telling me she don't appriciate me cussing guys whom do not think highly of her to my grandmother being put in the hospital. I am so tired of people. ah. That's life. I would just love to isolate myself for 24 hours. I hate the holidays. I think it's because every year I have been alone, no one to share Christmas with, or the New Year. I miss my grandparents, I miss my aunts and uncles, and I miss my cousins. You really don't appriciate family get-togethers until you don't have them. I have become so depressed over these past few weeks. The fact I miss him, people are just so immature and childish it erks me, my grandmother is depressed and admitted herself to the hospital today because of her heart, I am going to be alone on the holidays; yet again, I miss Pennsylvania, I am tired of school, and I feel like I am not accomplishing anything. I am just really worried about my grandma, she is the onewho taught me how to walk, the one I called when I lost a tooth, the one I used to spend afternoons with, the one I admire for everything she does and everything she has done. - sighs - I'm done. 3 -COMMENT

[Wednesday, November 30th 2005 @ 10:34] I've been sick with tonsilitis for the past 4 fucking days. >[ I am finally going back to school tomorrow. blah. Nothing really new has happened. Started dating Tony Liechter, then he couldn't keep his penis in his pants, so that ended shortly after it began. My job is going well. I miss him. Jenelle and I are cool again. :D The first wrestling match is Friday and I am going. :) Woot woot. To cheer on John, Patrick, and Josh-ua. ;) So, yeah. blah. I'm going to bed. 2 -COMMENT

[Friday, November 25th 2005 @ 7:19] I am bored and figured I would update, for once. I am finally over my 'heartbreak'. I am dating around now. If I find someone special that I want to get serious with then awesome, if not then you won't see me boo-wooin'. My job is kick ass. :) I hope they decide to keep me after Christmas. Yep. My life is pretty dull. I am going to go call B-Chelle and see if she is coming over. Therefore, I'm done. good night. ;) <3 4 -COMMENT

Let me so dead and so gone. <\3 [Friday, November 18th 2005 @ 11:45] So, I got my license yesterday. I enjoy driving. It makes me feel free and that I am in control of something for once. But I always got a job today. I now work at Dollar Tree with my best friend, Brittany Michelle. :D woot woot. Well, it seems that I have been lied to by my ex-significant other. I fucking hate guys nowadays. What is so hard about just being honest. I mean, if he was gonna get serious with this girl why couldn't he tell me? I shouldn't have to get my friend to call me and tell me he is dating some Megan girl since he decides to post it all of his goddam profile. ahhh. I don't think he even realizes how much I want to be with him. but you know what. If I am not worth his time, why should he be worth mine? I mean, he still calls me babe, baby, sweetie. Why must he call me those names when I know he is saying them to some other girl? It's funny how a month ago he said he loved me and now it's like I'm not worth anything to him. Just another notch in his bedpost, another memory, another broken heart he can frame in his mind. I hope he knows that he has hurt me more I ever been hurt before. All I want is a serious relationship with a guy who is going to take me seriously and not just some fucking ragdoll. We got new computers. Dad got a new laptop, mom got a new desktop, and John fixed my computer. Mom bought me a new keyboard as well. :) So that is kick ass since my old one was kind of broken, like hardcore. Well, starting tomorrow I am going to the YMCA. I have a goal, and that goal will be met. I am determined to lose weight by the New Year. I got my report card today, I got all b's and C's and a D in Tucker's Music Theater class, mostly because I don't pay a damn bit of attention. Oh well, not as if I give a flying fuck about that class. I need a beer. I miss Katie. I need to get away, just take a drive by myself and my CDs. Not like I have the time and money to do that. Carolina put Rackie down Tuesday. It broke my heart. I love that dog. I miss her a lot. :'( Why must life suck so bad? I am to the point that I just don't want to be here. If I had it my way, I would live in my bed for the rest of my pathetic life. No drama, no love, no heartache, and no one to bring me down ! I am done. Good-night. 2 -COMMENT

Must be nice having someone who loves you fo sho ! [Saturday, November 12th 2005 @ 7:43] ( Bre and I today ! :) ) 11 -COMMENT

Am I More Than You Bargained For Yet?? [Tuesday, November 8th 2005 @ 12:31] - sigh - I left school early today because I have a headache from hell and I am so fucking tired. I don't think I've been 'awake' for a long time actually. So, last night i went to the game with Jessica.. It was fun, as always. I ended up meeting up with Bre, haven't seen her in ages. I need to stop doing the things I do. I lie to myself to often. I promised him and I promised myself I wouldn't do that again. gah, i despise myself. I get my license in 9 days. :) I put my application in at Wendy's. She said I would get a phone call tomorrow and she can guarantee I get the job. I need the money, and it's not like him and I will hang out every weekend like we used to. So why shouldn't I get a job? It will give me something to occupy my time with and keep my mind off things, hopefully my grades will stay the same or even approve. I really hate fall, I am so fucking not myself. I have an attitude from hell with everyone and I don't mean to, I just say what's on my mind. I've been thinking a lot lately about my past relationships. And with some of them, I don't even know why they ended. :\ I think really, the only one I regret deeply is Glen and I's. That was my fault mostly. It wasn't mature of us to get other people in the middle, but I do regret that. I miss Katie. Jessy is going to mother my children. hahah Well, I am going to go be a couch potatoe. <3 2 -COMMENT

When you got somebody good ya hold on to 'em [Thursday, November 3rd 2005 @ 9:59] What did I tell you. I knew something bad was going to happen. I lost him. I'm a failure. Even though he told me he loved and cared for me and I was his best friend, I still feel like it's a lie. I guess I have learned over the years of heartbreak I know when these things are going to happen. ahh. It just hurts so bad. I feel almost as if he stabbed me in the heart then twisted it and found it amusing. - shakes head - Oh how I long for a secure relationship. Really, that's all I want in life. Dear Santa, Please put him under my tree wrapped in a bow. :'( Although, I know you will fuck me over just like every other fucking idiot. Thanks and all my love, Beth anne 14 days until I get my license !!! woooo !!! 2 -COMMENT

[Tuesday, November 1st 2005 @ 7:34] So, my computer crashed. I won't be online for awhile. :\ Well, I get my license in 16 days... ...I've been so unhappy these past few days. I feel like something bad is happening or going to happen. :\ All I've been doing is crying. Ahh Well dad wants on here to see if he can get this damn thing to work. All my love. <3 2 -COMMENT

[Sunday, October 30th 2005 @ 1:23] [ mood | melancholy ] [ music | Three Days Grace- I Hate Everything About You ] "I've been here before a few times and I'm quite aware we're dying. And your hands they shake with good-byes, and I'll take you back if you'd have me. So here I am, I'm trying. So here I am, are you ready? Come on let me hold you, touch you feel you, always. kiss you, taste you, all night, always. And I'll miss you laugh, your smile. I'll admitt I'm wrong if you tell me. I'm so sick of fights, I hate them. Let's start this again for real." - Blink 182 I hate fall. It is so depressing. I'm always cold, sick, tired, and I always feel that I am lonely. Even though I know I have somone special, I am just waiting for something bad to happen. I guess I don't have to much confidence in myself, almost as if I can't keep someone in love with me. When I think about, no one has really ever said "I'll always love you" to me and meant it. Yeah, Glen said it, but he despises me now. I guess I deserve it, even though it was a mistake. I still hate myself for that, I know he don't believe me, but I think it hurt me more than it hurt him. 18 more days until I get my license, that is really the only thing I'm anxious about. I like driving, I love driving on country roads or roads with beautiful scenery, It is easy to take my mind off things. Tomorrow I am going out with a few friends. That should be fun. There is a stay cat running around my neighborhood. She is gorgeous. She's black and white. I walked outside this morning and sat down on my back porch. She automatically came down off the retaining wall and sat with me. I have a date to winter formal, Josh. He's a sweetheart. Let's hope this year isn't as bad as last year's. Well, I am going to cuddle up in a blanket, drink so hot tea, and watch a few movies. Happy Halloween. <3 2 -COMMENT

[Thursday, October 13th 2005 @ 6:53] ( Turn it over and hit it ) 3 -COMMENT

[Monday, October 10th 2005 @ 6:28] [ mood | amused ] [ music | Scarface ] This weekend was awesome. I got to hang out with Brittany, Kristen, Nate, Gene, and Carbohydrate. haha. It was fun. I don't feel like going into deep detail. I am thinking about dying my hair again. Should I leave it the way it is or dye it black again? Well, I am sure Patrick will be very happy. I got my pictures back today. haha ( pictures !! ) 9 -COMMENT

[Sunday, October 2nd 2005 @ 12:54] As you can see, Carolina, Mom, and I had fun with helium balloons tonight. :) COMMENT

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